I’m in labor. The contractions are coming regularly. My faith is being tested. I’m in the refinery.
Like labor, none of this was by surprise. I saw it coming. Of course, when first told of this, I focused on the beautiful baby I would hold in my arms. I focused on the promises God made me and how wonderful a life it would be. Not the pain that comes with.
I knew birthing a new life would require labor. I thought I could handle it …. and I can. Though in some moments, I don’t feel I can make it. “Where’s my epidural?!?!?! I don’t know how much longer I can take this pain. It hurts bad!”
Refining my faith, testing my beliefs is painful. Deliverance hurts. It requires bringing the pain to the surface, staring it in the face and avoiding all of my normal pain management strategies to make it go away.
Oh, how those lies I’m believing hurt. While I know in my head they aren’t true, I have yet to receive the truth in my heart. My identity and stability in this world remain challenged.
I’m in labor. Contractions rolling over my body with increasing intensity. Short interludes give me an opportunity to catch my breath and focus the glorious future that awaits me before I’m hit with another wave of pain; triggered by unhealthy relationships and beliefs.
Thankfully, I have the world’s best doctor by my side, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He guides and supports me through every contraction. He reminds me of what the future holds. This pain serves a purpose. It’s giving birth to a better life.
