Telling people, the truth should be easy, right?
Surprisingly, I am finding it very difficult. The years spent conforming to the world have created a web of lies so deep, I’ve hidden the truth even from myself.
I’ve had enough of my lies. I’m tired of boxing myself into the consequences of my decisions.
The bible says,
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
As I’m adjusting to life under God’s rule in his kingdom, I’m beginning to see how many lies I speak daily. These aren’t the obvious false witnesses against others. They are much subtler. They are lies to avoid hurting others or to avoid uncomfortable feelings; Times where I feel an unhealthy obligation to someone and can’t say no. They’re tricky because they disguise themselves as “love”.
Self Justification
I realize these lies were created to justify my actions or protect myself. But as a person under God’s rule, I no longer have a need for that. He is my justifier. He protects and sustains me. I have surrendered my rights to have a good reputation, to have acceptance, to be successful, to have pleasant circumstances, to have friendships, to be heard, to be right, to see results. All of these I surrender to his will.
Pattern of Lies
I’m learning to adjust my thinking and actions to align with his will. Thankfully, the Lord has revealed a pattern that helps me discern His truth from my lies. If I take a moment to look at the feelings that accompany decisions to act or speak apart from God’s will I notice heaviness, feelings of obligation, like I owe the person something, I’m not enough, if I don’t do it then no one else will and who will save them (I call this one my God complex). Later these decisions always lead to bitterness and resentment.
On the contrary, decisions to speak or act in alignment with His truth (His word) are accompanied with a light burden. They bring joy regardless of whether the person receives it well or not. I’m ok even if they don’t appreciate the magnitude of my sacrifice.
Surrender Provides Freedom
Now that I can usually feel the difference early in the process (before I act or speak), I’m learning how to go to him in every situation and ask for strength to speak in truth even when faced with fear. I’m asking him for the words to do it in love.
This isn’t something that comes naturally to me at this point. I’m at the beginning of my training regime. I’m sure I’ll have more to share in future posts on my successes and failures to apply His truth to my life. It’s training time.
